Once upon a time, there was mini Ivory D
Standing 5’9’’ and weighing 160

I was a killer with the ladies at parochial school
Went to college, got knowledge, made them honeys drool

Fast food and cheap beer started getting me real plump
Grew three chins and a juicy juicy round rump

Exercise could never catch me
Cardio sounded more like a disease

I finished school with no social structure
Except my mini fridge, and my bed/sofa

Livin the Ivory life is hard you see
When your hair rapidly recedes

Ivory D and his Beer Belly
And when he is on the microphone, this is what you see
But a CHUNKY HONKEY.  Oooohhhhhh  He’s tearing it up!

Spent my 20's, with no honeys
I was working odd jobs spendin all pop's money

Looking for love in all the wrong places
But I didn't know, right in front of my face was

Just a girl I thought was just my HOMEY
I got a ring, bling bling, MATRIMONY

Looked in her eyes, all cylinders a go
30 seconds later, I was done NO BUENO

SHE got tired, started feeling kind of lazy
9 months later, Push Push, out came the baby

Had one more and now I am a lifer
Yo kick the chorus, I’m a go and change this diaper.

 Ivory D and his Beer Belly
And when he is on the microphone, this is what you see
But a CHUNKY HONKEY.  Oooohhhhhh  He’s tearing it up!

Got a house, wife, dog, now I got 2 kids
Gonna  need some chedder to afford all this

Went lookin for employment, to get out of the hood
End up spinning tapes down in Hollywood

Access Hollywood to be precise
Bringin y’all entertainment news every night

Nancy Odell  is smokin, forget not Mr. Bushy
He’s got more fans than pimples on my tushy

That's were I hooked up with the BOD'S
2 Caucasian Americans, as hard as me

Follicallay challenged, middle aged, my breath is kickin
cooking up rhymes like Col. Sanders cooks chicken

 Ivory D and his Beer Belly
And when he is on the microphone, this is what you see’s
But a CHUNKY HONKEY.  Oooohhhhhh  He’s tearing it up!

Now I'm livin large with the family in the crib
Searchin all around the house for a blanky and a bib

Watchin Dora, Elmo, Barney, let's not forget the wiggles
Rockin with my children, how my belly jiggles

Watchin all the hair disappear from my head
reappearing on my back and ears instead

Beauty comes from inside, my genes have not been kind
But what I lack in looks, I make up for in rhyme

Eu de Ivory, the scent you should be wearin
7/10 split, bowling pins, you'll be sparin

Start timing your contractions for the birth of Ivory D
to the promise land my gray head it will lead

To a life of luxuries, with so many riches
Kick the chorus,  I’m a  change these b-r-itches

Ivory D and his Beer Belly
And when he is on the microphone, this is what you see
But a CHUNKY HONKEY.  Oooohhhhhh  He’s tearing it up!

Ivory D and his Beer Belly
And when he is on the microphone, this is what you see
But a CHUNKY HONKEY. 

Girl: Ivory Dizzle in the Hizzle

He’s tearing it up!

Girl: yah boooyyyyyyy

Chunk Honkey!!!!!

Girl:  Yo Ivory D yo whacked!!!!!! 

THE END

(C) Copyright 2007 Marconet Productions